


Flashbacks

by biotic_raptorian_angel



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Blood and Gore, F/F, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 14:56:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14499468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biotic_raptorian_angel/pseuds/biotic_raptorian_angel





	Flashbacks

There had been a good while since her last episode, but when it came she felt every moment vividly as if she were still there. It had been a week since she last stepped foot in her lab, since she showered and three days since she last ate anything resembling food. The empty bottles of wine and vodka littered her living room coffee table like trophies, accomplishments over her mind taking over. Every muscle shook and twitched under her clammy pale skin as she twisted the cap off her last bottle of vodka to take a large gulp. Feeling the fiery liquid leave a trail of numbness from her lips to her stomach made her sigh and curl her feet back under her on the couch as she stared at her cell phone blinking nearby. They must hate her for not having said anything for this long, but what was she to say? That her mind was a whirlpool of emotions and sensory overloads that she couldn't tell the memories from reality at this point. That every time she closed her eyes all she saw were her comrades bleeding out in front of her. All the lives in the field that she tried to save but couldn't. Her time as a field medic had stripped her of so many things, she had seen just how deadly Omnics could be against the flesh of a human being. How their bullets tore straight through like a hot knife through butter, leaving a bloodied and mangled mess of what was once a man laying in their wake. This was why she never let anyone in. Not just for fear of losing them, but to save them from when she would've eventually lost her life on those very battlefields. But unfortunately there was one person who broke down those walls enough for her to latch onto. The geneticist was a stubborn Irishwoman to every stereotype there was, never gave up on trying to keep her soft and kind. She brought back a dim light in her heart that Angela thought was long snuffed out by loss. But even with how close they had grown over the last year, the doctor knew this was the one thing Moira wouldn't be able to fix about her. A toned leg flung out from under her as she kicked at the table the phone was buzzing on, knocking it to the floor face down. It blinked only once more before silencing, the battery on its last percent of charge finally giving up to die. Another deep gulp filled her cheeks before she settled back into the couch and the darkness that was her flat. Her eyes stared blankly at the stitched design in the arm of the couch, her mind flashing back to the moment she lost her first patient. But just as tears welled up in her eyes, a hard knock came to her door which shook her to the very core and her hand flew up to cover her mouth. If she was silent then maybe they would go away, leave her be and not come back. But once she heard the lock being tumbled and handle twisted, she buried her face into her knees as every muscle shook. The only person this could be was Moira, and she wasn't going to acknowledge her being here because there was no way she would've cared enough to check up on her. Absolutely no way she left the importance of her research and lab to come all the way out here to find the young doctor. If she ignored the vision enough it would leave her mind and she could go back to wallowing in her drunken stupor and numbed senses, but as a gasp rung out her eyes shot up. Those unmistakable hetero-chromatic eyes darted around the room in the dim light and settled on Angela curled up defensively on the couch. Tears streamed down her cheeks as her heart wanted to latch onto the other but her scarred mind wanted to be left alone in her pain, to suffer for as long as it needed to. Once Moira's eyes settled on her, the taller woman slowly came closer with soft deliberate steps and eyes searching for an assessment of the doctors current situation. She must have looked like a stray feral beast by this point, her blonde hair a matted mess, breath smelling of alcohol and eyes puffed from crying for nearly a week straight. Moira kept her head low as she knelt before Angela on the floor, hands resting on her calves and eyes locked onto her own blue pools of despair. “The state of you, gra...” The tears flowed more freely now as she realized the woman kneeling before her was real, not one of her visions appearing to torment her mind and heart more. “Why...why aren't you in your lab?” Her voice was dry and soft, signs that it had been strained from her nights of screaming at nightmares and visions tearing at her soul. Moira's eyes widened with surprise then softened before she spoke, “I care not of the lab, if you aren't there to assist at my side. Have you been here all this time? Alone and in the dark? What's bothering you?” One of her hands waved as she spoke to point out the dark flat they were in before resting back onto her leg with soft movements of her thumbs against Angela's skin. How could this woman be real and right here worrying over her? “I...Yes I've been here. I haven't been feeling well is all.” She masked the tug at her heart to tell her the truth, but knew if she did it would only haunt her more to know that she had drug someone else into the nightmares of her mind. But just as the words left her lips, Moira moved her arms to wrap under her knees and around her back before lifting her off the couch and standing. “Let's get you a shower before we continue this conversation.” Worry filled Moira's contrasting eyes as she carried her to the bathroom adjacent to Angela's bedroom, she knew exactly where she was going for the same reason she had a spare key to her flat, they had spent many days and nights here together. Once on the tile of the bathroom, Moira knelt to set the young doctor on the toilet lid and backed off to close the door leaving a small crack open. “Shower while I grab a towel and some clothes for you to change into. If you need me I will be right here mo stór.” Her blue eyes stared down at her hands as they began to strip her of the filthy clothes she had been in this whole time, her face twisting in disgust as she tore the shirt from over her head and angrily threw it to the floor. Looking in the mirror she got the first sight of just how bad she looked, dark bags under her eyes, redness puffing around them and her cheeks from where she was crying and by the gods her hair. She shook her head with a growl and moved the shower curtain to the side to turn on the hot water, she wanted to be rid of everything about herself in this very moment. Once the shower head kicked in, her body shivered at the intense heat of the water before it settled and she scrubbed at her skin hard with the loofah, partly out of self hatred and partly from her doctor side trying to sterilize every inch of herself. But once her mind melted to numbness, her eyes settled on her hands which were bright red from the hot water and the intense scrubbing and she fell to the floor of the shower and hugged her knees. Nearly fifteen minutes passed by and she was stuck there in that curled up position on the floor as the hot water rained over her, never hearing the other woman knock on the door. The curtain flew open as Moira's eyes were wide once again, but she turned off the water and her long arms wrapped a towel around the young woman and gathered her up in her arms. Angela didn't bother to fight any of it, melting against Moira and the softness of the towel around her, the shame of being stark naked was the last thing on her mind. Feeling the new softness of bed sheets on her bare legs, her attention shifted to her bed and the fresh sheets that Moira had replaced and tears streamed down her cheeks again as the other moved to step away from her once settled on the bed. Her hand subconsciously shot to grab at her wrist, not wanting her to leave her alone with this any longer, the sense of need flowed from her hand to the others wrist heavily. “Please...don't leave me alone.” Moira turned with a soft smile and placed a hand on her cheek, “I'm not going anywhere grá, but you need some actual food and plenty of water. I promise I'll be right back after I order us some dinner.” She leaned down to offer a soft kiss to Angela's forehead before digging her cell phone out and dialing quickly while walking back to the living room. Her pale eyes looked around the room, which now was partially lit thanks to her small desk lamp in the corner. Moira had changed her bed sheets, gathered a soft and fluffy outfit of sweats and a baggy loose t-shirt with the name of her college across the chest. Peering out the gap in the door she saw Moira flailing her hands about as she ordered over the phone and gave directions to the flat, sliding off the bed she gathered up the clothes and quickly put them on. A soft sigh escaped her as she settled back on the edge of the bed, her fingers idly playing with the strings of her sweats. Moira moved around in the living room, gathering up all the empty bottles and remnants of snacks to clean the place up a bit before returning to the younger doctor who needed her attention. Angela could hear the soft mumblings of Irish curses and worried comments coming from the living room as her mind zoned out and flashed back to a scene of the Omnic crisis battlefields. Her body tensed and twitched as explosions rung out close by, a few warm spots bloomed on her left cheek as her hand reached up to check and returned covered in blood. Her wide eyes looked to her side and the soldier that once stood there was now a bloodied pool of muscle and bone. Moira had returned to the bedroom to find Angela sitting on the edge of the bed motionless and staring with wide eyes at the floor. Her worry set in heavily as she knelt before her and rested her hands gently on her shoulders. Angela didn't see the figure before her as Moira, but as a rogue OR-15 with its heavy metal hands around her neck. She screamed and flailed to break free but the grip only grew tighter, now around her torso, she fell backwards and punched at the thing holding her. Moira nearly fell back at the scream, but her instincts kicked in as she recognized exactly what was happening and her arms wrapped tightly around Angela to keep her arms from flying around and hurting her or herself. She carried her to the top of the bed and curled herself around her with soft shushes and gently calling her name out to pull her back to reality. Angela heard Moira's voice in the distance and as her eyes shot upward she saw the face of the woman she loved holding her tight to her warmth. A fist must have landed on her cheek because it was red and already bruising, which made Angela's fear shift to concern for Moira's well being. “Mein Gott! Es tut mir leid, Moira!” Her hand shot up to examine the mark, that's when she realized the flashback she had was in reality Moira trying to calm her from an episode, which only made her heart sink more upon seeing the bruise forming on her cheek. “Why...why did you try to stop me? Why did come here?” Her eyes lowered as she moved away from the taller woman with shame and disgust towards herself evident on her features. But Moira's arms pulled her back into a gentle cuddle of warmth and safety, “Because I was worried about you. You haven't been to the lab in seven days and I've been calling your cell every day to check on you but with no reply. I became concerned. And I guess rightly so considering your condition. You know, for a doctor, you take horrible care of yourself. “ The verbal jab was meant to spark a lively rise from Angela and she knew it, but all she replied with was a sigh and a hand that now rested on the others neck. “I'm sorry I worried you. I just...I didn't want to drag you into this hell with me.” Moira's eyes softened from worry to what Angela could only peg as endearment as she rested her chin on the youngers shoulder. “I am perfectly capable of walking through the flames of hell on my own, more so if it's to bring you back to this world with me.” Her contrasting eyes went half lidded with a sigh, “Plus, I know what you are going through. It's not the first time I've seen PTSD first hand. I'm not going to push you to tell me what's on your mind or how long you've had it. But know that I won't shy away from you like everyone else. I won't leave you to your own devices. I won't be afraid to get hurt in the process of helping you. That's what I signed up for when I chose to let you steal my heart aingeal beag.” Angela had no words in reply. No words to offer in thanks that would begin to show her appreciation and love for the woman who saved her so easily from herself. All she could offer was a soft kiss to her lips before settling her head under the others chin and grasping onto her shirt to keep herself grounded in this reality.


End file.
